He Doesn’t Want FWB But Nevertheless Wants to Talk. Why Does He Forward Mixed Signals?

Reader Question:

I found he a colesbian hook uple weeks in the past therefore we straight away hit it off. He is 20 I am also 18.

We arranged we might stay as buddies with benefits because i’ll be leaving in 2 months for a while. For whatever reason, the guy keeps revisiting the concept of only getting buddies, stating the guy loves myself but it can make him put a wall up.

We informed him it will be okay whenever we merely quit chatting so howevern’t get further feelings because the guy does not want up to now, but he keeps stating the guy does not want to cease speaking.

Why does the guy send myself combined signals? How to figure out what the guy really wants?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


As soon as you explain your connection as buddies with advantages, I assume you mean intimate benefits. Also because you’re one making town, I have an expression you are the a person who structured the relationship in this manner.

The guy, however, didn’t have most of a selection. You will be leaving, even when the guy wished a lot more. In fact, We believe your own citation outside of the union ended up being the actual thing that lured the two of you.

It really is ways to test an union realizing that each one people have an escape doorway during the two-month mark.

With modern-day interactions being so fragile yet so pressured to own gender, men and women often look to dip their unique toe-in in order to abstain from an agonizing break up.

But the bottom line is actually gender creates emotions. He could be delivering you combined signals because he loves you! He is actually letting you know the “friends with advantages” charade could be the wall he’s starting.

My personal guidance: You should not wreak havoc on he’s cardiovascular system if you do not want a real union. In the event you, carry it up and end up being specific regarding your needs.

The elephant from inside the home seems too-big for either of you to disregard.

No guidance or psychotherapy advice: This site does not give psychotherapy advice. This site is intended just for utilize by consumers on the lookout for basic details interesting pertaining to dilemmas individuals may deal with as people as well as in relationships and related topics. Material isn’t intended to replace or act as replacement for specialist consultation or solution. Contained observations and views shouldn’t be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

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